Secret Kisses
by Thalionsul
Summary: A few kisses shared between a girl from the Seam and a Peacemaker.


I had kissed him. Gale never knew. It was our secret, Darius's and mine.

And now, that red headed boy is dead, his tongue-less screams forever silenced in the depths of the Capitol's dungeons. His once strong body, limp and lifeless. Mutilated. Destroyed. Gone forever.

And I feel that heavy weight of responsibility land on my shoulders as the reality sinks in. Those stolen kisses, gentle caresses, passionate whispers, all of them flood my mind. I can feel Darius's hand on the small of my back, pulling me against him. I close my eyes as I remember the feeling of his beautiful red hair between my fingers.

Our friendship started in the Hob, his easy grin clashing with the white of his Peacemaker's uniform. He was too young, too innocent to be one of them. His whole being exuded an air of relaxed confidence, and I was drawn to that. And those eyes. In a sea of grey and blue, the depths of his dark chocolate brown eyes consumed me. So dark and inviting, a stark contrast to his messy red locks and pale, sparsely freckled skin. He was at Greasy Sae's stall when I first saw him. He couldn't have been more than a few years older than me, so young and fresh, and my heart quickened when he would remove himself from his group of fellow Peacekeepers to inspect the game I brought to Sae. It had taken him a few years to come over, but when he did, a light friendship started to grow. Darius was a happy moment in my hours of determination. He always had a kind word, a joke, a smile. His kisses were as warm and secure as his arms. The world around me ceased to exist and I tapped my lips absentmindedly as I thought about that first kiss on a chilly autumn day.

"What have we here, Miss Everdeen?" those dark eyes laughing down at me, "Hmm, I see a rabbit stew in our future, right Sae?" The old woman eagerly nodded her head as she inspected my recent kill. Her gnarled hands made easy work of the carcasses as she prepared them for tomorrow's concoction. "You know, it's illegal to hunt in these woods," Darius's warm breath tickled my ear as he leaned down to tease me. We had always had a light friendship so I knew his threats were nothing but banter.

I looked up at him, letting a sweet smile tug the corners of my mouth up, "How else would you get to see me every day, Darius, if I didn't bring Greasy Sae meat?"

That was the first time I saw a different light in his eyes. The first time I felt a stir in my own heart at his nearness.

I thought all emotion had long died in me. Since the death of my father, my life has been dedicated only to surviving and providing for my sister and mother. Pulling strength from myself, I had no time for anyone else. I was too busy "doing" to notice, but Darius had gotten my attention.

"Can I walk you home, Katniss?" My face felt numb after he asked the question, my tongue thick in my mouth. A boy wanted to walk me home. Something inside of me cracked. Warmth flooded my chest. It felt like there was a spark of light in the darkness of my soul.

A flash of doubt crossed Darius's sweet face, a muscle twitched in his jaw. Panic hit me. He's reading me wrong. Darius was turning to leave, his question unanswered, when my hand darted out, my cold fingers entwining with his warm ones. "I'd like that very much." It was hardly more than a whisper.

My mind's eye remembered that look on his face. It was a fleeting, but it was a mixture of relief, anxiety, surprise, and…what else? An emotion I had never seen before, at least not an emotion that had ever been directed at me. Affection? Desire? Possibly love? Sae cleared her throat, and I remember jumping slightly. My fingers still firmly encased by Darius's. The old woman's grey eyes crinkled with humor and a touch of disapproval.

A girl from the Seam and a Peacemaker.

The late afternoon light glinted off the coins in Greasy Sae's outstretched hand. "Better get home soon, girl," Sae's gravelly voice and the noise of the Hob filled my ears. "Evening's going to be awfully chilly." Her eyes flitted between me and the boy beside me. "And Gale's comin'. If you want a quiet walk home, you'd best be leavin' soon."

Gale.

My friend. My fellow hunter and provider. He wouldn't approve of a Peacemaker walking a known poacher home. Darius must have seen the understanding in my eyes. His fingers tightened, but not painfully so. It was more of a protective move, and it jerked me from my slight daze. I ducked my head as my free hand accepted the coins from Sae. "See you tomorrow." The old lady acknowledged my departure with a nod of her head, a twinkle in her eye. There was more approval than disapproval in her.

Darius held my hand the entire walk home. Our talk centering about the swift onslaught of autumn, the wild recipes that Sae filled her stew pot with that surprised the palate with their flavor. It was a comfortable conversation. The sun was starting to set in the west, filling this world with beautiful oranges, pinks, and long shadows. Were the colors always this vivid? My breath hitched in my throat as Darius's thumb gently stroked the chapped skin of my hand. His hand was rough, surprisingly calloused, but warm and firm. I didn't think of the Peacemakers being used to hard work, but they did a lot around the district.

My feet took me down the path automatically. I knew it my heart, could run it in my sleep, so my eyes were able to settle on Darius's face, taking in his warm, quick smile, his slightly crooked teeth, the dark auburn of his lashes. His cheekbones were high; his jaw line strong, and in the fading autumn light, his dark red hair glinted with gold and brown highlights. He was an attractive young man. His Peacemaker's uniform couldn't hide the fact that he was well built with broad shoulders and strong arms. He didn't drag his feet like the majority of the coal miners either. Each footfall was deliberate, carefully placed. He would make out well in the forest with a tread like that.

I found myself smiling, a lot. And not a wild crazy grin either. Darius put my heart at ease and that brought a relaxed smile to my face. The walk home was happening too fast. I didn't want to disentangle my fingers from his. I saw my home down the lane. Then Darius did something to surprise me. He veered off to the meadow. "Let's watch the sunset completely. There is nothing as beautiful as a sunset on an autumn night. In 2, you can barely see it." We stood quiet as an orchestra of evening animals filled the air with their night sounds. The beauty of the sunset reached its pinnacle. It looked like the sun itself was kissing the hills goodnight. I felt like this was the first sunset I had ever truly seen. I couldn't help the smile on my face again, but I blushed and shied away as I realized Darius was watching me, his deep eyes studying my features.

"Don't stop watching it," he whispered, the corners of his mouth pulled up into a content smirk. "I like watching the reflection in your eyes. And I like watching you smile. You always seem to be so serious in the Hob, Katniss. Seeing you smile is more than the sunset to me."

I playfully rolled my eyes at him, "Laying it on a little thick there are we Darius?"

His deep laugh overtook the night sounds, and he automatically pulled me close, his free hand caressing my cheek. With the departure of the sun, the temperature was dropping quickly, but the warmth radiating between Darius and I chased the chill away.

"Oddly enough, I'm being serious. But I was hoping a little flattery might earn me a goodnight kiss from a beautiful girl."

I was lost in those eyes.

His lips brushed gently against mine. They were warm, slightly chapped, but soft and willing. Darius let go of my hand. He cupped my face and let his lips linger against mine for a few moments longer, waiting for me to return the sign of affection.

My first kiss. A kiss that shouldn't have been happening between a Peacekeeper and Seam girl. A kiss I eagerly accepted. I didn't feel awkward as I wrapped my arms around his neck, moving my lips against his. My body responded in ways I never knew possible. Butterflies exploded in my stomach, a moan caught in the back of my throat as Darius's tongue brushed my bottom lip, heat seemed to radiate off of us.

After a few minutes of explorative kisses, Darius rested his forehead against mine. Our fingers entwined. I looked up into that face that bared all emotion. His eyes were at peace, and a crooked grin overtook his mouth.

"Who knew that would work," he teased as he pushed a curl of hair behind one of my ears.

My heart slammed in my chest and my stomach curled with cold. Did I just come off as easy, as prey? Did I do something wrong? This whole aspect of kisses and handholding is new to me, feelings and responses I have never had to deal with before. All of a sudden, I am embarrassed and ashamed. "I didn't…I…" I stammered, "I don't usually do things like this, Darius. I…I…"

"I know," Darius quietly interrupted me, his thumb stroking my bottom lip softly, the rest of his hand resting on my jaw and cheek. "Katniss, I know you're not the kind of girl to just give it away. I don't see you as an animal to catch and devour. I want to get to know you for you, not to take advantage of you." His kiss lingers, telling me more than words could ever say.

He pulls away, eyes reflecting the light of the rising moon, "Anyway, I knew you'd enjoy kissing me. It's the hair. Redheads are naturally more virulent." I playfully hit his arm, and we laughed together. He holds my hand as he walks me to my door, chastely brushing his lips against my cheek before he departed.

We shared several more kisses before Prim's name was chosen, but after Peeta and I came home as victors, Darius gracefully kept his distance. We still teased and joked with each other, but our friendship remained as such, mere friendship. No more kisses, no more hand holding, but every now and then I would look up and catch him smiling flirtatiously at me, arching an eyebrow and blowing a kiss playfully before a genuine, gentle smile claimed his lips. We had shared moments in time, moments I will always cherish.

"You'll never be forgotten, Darius," I whisper to myself as I come back to reality. My lips will always remember his kisses, my fingers the strong angles of his face, the taste of him on that autumn evening. And my heart will forever carry the weight of his death.


End file.
